Each week, Bro Jackson’s deep roster of writers and degenerates takes on hot-button topic. Put on your party hats, folks. We’re talkin’ birthday stories this time.
My boyfriend was leaving town for an extended period of time to a new job site right before his birthday, so we decided to celebrate early. I made him cupcakes and, when he arrived, I had a single lit candle in a cupcake waiting for him along with a card and a bagful of Laffy Taffy (his favorite). We had dinner at the Plaza Grill at Millenium Park (kobe burgers, soooooo good), went to see “The Book of Mormon” (SOOOOOOOO GOOD) and had drinks after at the Palmer House (soooooo expensive) and THEN…we celebrated, if you know what I mean, heyyyoooo. I orchestrated and paid for the whole thing and I was really proud of myself. One of the better birthdays I had ever planned. He said he loved it.
So then he left town and I had massive separation anxiety. 1 I had a terrible time getting through that first week. I saw friends, I made plans, I wrote in my journal like goddamn Taylor Swift. I was still totally freaking out the next weekend. I woke up that Sunday morning feeling sadder than ever and I was terrified that I was going to betray how I was feeling if I called him. So I determined that I wasn’t going to call him. It was seriously minute-to-minute getting through that day. I spoke to everyone in my family that day on the phone, went on a long bike ride, watched like eight episodes of “Elementary,” all the while working myself into a total frenzy that even though I was determined not to call him, why hadn’t he called me? What the hell was going on? Had me met a new girl at his new job site? What was he doing while he was ignoring me? 2
He finally called me around 5 p.m. and I was so happy when I saw his picture come up, I almost cried. I pulled myself together and answered the phone. We had a long, interesting, laugh-filled, typically great conversation and at the end of it as I was signing off, he said “Aren’t you going to say happy birthday?” IT WAS HIS ACTUAL BIRTHDAY.
Man, girls be crazy.