Why I’m quitting Comcast

Jun 6, 2013

Let’s say you have a friend. A casual one, at best. Let’s say your friend’s name is Fran. Wave hi to Fran. Did you wave?

Let’s also say it’s a sunny Saturday afternoon, you have no plans for the evening, and you’ve just finished watching all the new “Arrested Development” episodes on Netflix—in one sitting, no less—when you get a text from your friend Fran:

“Beer pong @8. My place. Bring beer.”

Now, we already know you’re not great friends with Fran, but you decide to go to Fran’s place down the street anyway since you need to get out of your apartment and have nothing better to do tonight, especially on the cheap. You text back:

“Fa sheez. Natty light okay?”

She doesn’t text you back until 8, when you’re in line at 7-Eleven:

“Can you get balls and cups, too?”


Jeff learned to juggle, and criticize others, while riding the bench for his high school baseball team. He learned how to write working as a reporter and editor for the Daily Nexus at UC Santa Barbara. He holds a Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing from the University of San Francisco and a B.A. in English from UCSB. You can chastise him (or ask for juggling tips) on twitter @jeffreydgibson.