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Best Song Ever Draft: Round 12

Jun 18, 2013
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Check out the earlier rounds of the Bro Jackson Best Song Ever Draft: Round 1 / Round 2 / Round 3 / Round 4  / Round 5 / Round 6 / Round 7 / Round 8 / Round 9 / Round 10 / Round 11

When the idea of this draft came up I could not have been more excited. I hate fantasy sports and the tedious time consuming drafts that go along with them. However, this idea was right up my alley. As a new writer for the site, it was a really good way to learn a little bit about my colleagues and see who I could shit talk and judge purely based off their music opinions.

I initially approached this draft with a very serious focus and attitude. I had two goals. One, get an eclectic and broad list of songs that covered multiple genres, and two, don’t look like an idiot in front of my new colleagues. Everything was going to plan until I spent the entire draft weekend in a drunken Bud Light and Americana-infused haze since it was Memorial Day Weekend.

For my 12th Round song, I was merely trying to redeem myself from my idiotic 11th round pick of “Friends Forever” by Zack Attack. Kat’s brief scolding from yesterday’s article couldn’t have been more deserving or spot on. So, I tried to take this round seriously, and went back to my fundamentals by picking a song that has great lyrics and always puts me in a good mood when I hear it.

As far as my judging of everyone else, I was pleasantly surprised with this round. Honestly, I thought by round 12 this draft would end up being a hipster-themed pissing contest as music tends to evoke a great deal of opinionated passion of what is and is not “good music.” I couldn’t have been more impressed with everyone’s choices and also came away with some great new tunes I’d never heard. Love the fact that the round was kicked off with “Two Step,” as that’s one of my favorite DMB songs and is fantastic live. Also, I loved that “Tribute” from Tenacious D was taken, and it was good to see Moskal continue his dominance in this draft by grabbing a forgotten one hit wonder from the ’90s.

Your general managers

Fantastico, Fantasy Douche, Eddie Strait, Blake Hurtik, Deion Moskal, Kat Gotsick, Rumford Johnny, Ramon Ramirez, Robert Rich, Andy O’Connor, Chris Marler, David Kallison, Ken Griggs, Josh Klein

ROUND 11

# 155: J. Klein – “Two Step” – Dave Matthews Band

There may not be a more polarizing band in our generation than the Dave Matthews Band. People either love them or hate them, think they’re vastly underrated or incredibly overplayed, talented or lame, grating or gorgeous. Perhaps it was their huge amount of success in the mid-nineties, or perhaps it was the legions of obsessed fans begging you to listen to that 16-minute version of “The Last Stop” from LiC, you know, the one that has Bela Fleck on the outro? Listen to that bassline when they make the transition. I’ve got the bootleg in my car. Come sit with me awkwardly while we smoke a bowl and listen. JUST LISTEN TO IT LEROI IS PAINTING A PICTURE WITH HIS PENNYWHISTLE.

As you may be able to  tell, I’m one of “those people,” and I’m here to tell you there is no song that sums up the little band from Virginia more than “Two Step.” While the iconic lyrics of the chorus have inspired millions of terrible tattoos, this two-decades-old song has evolved in a million different ways. The outro used to sound like this, at one point it sounded like this, a year later it sounded like this, and apparently the 2013 version of it sounds almost heavy-metal-ish. Nearly every member of the multi-faceted band has had a solo at some point during the evolution of “Two Step,” and there have been over two hundred unique lyrical intros, There are many times during a DMB concert that you may see or hear something special, but never is it more likely than during the first two minutes of “Two Step” while Dave is improvising an introduction out of thin air. Nowadays, you’re likely to get an impassioned chorus of another song, but every now and then, if you’re lucky, you may get a broken frontman, at the end of a fifty-city  tour, with his voice betraying him while he pleads for release. That’s why the obsessed fans go to the shows, and that’s why we want you to go with us.

# 156 : K. Griggs – “Chelsea Hotel #2″ – Leonard Cohen

I dare you to find a song with this much passion wrapped in an incredible story that’s dripping with nostalgia. I guess that’s a little specific, but I think it’s probably one of the most beautiful songs ever written. Rufus Wainwright’s version of this song will change your life for at least 20 minutes. “Suzanne” also gives me chills, but this song had to be the choice because of who he’s actually singing about. It’s Janis Joplin. Cohen has said he regrets letting the secret out. If anything it tells us how witty Joplin was, “You told me again, you prefer handsome men, but for me you’d make an exception.” Why are any of us bothering to write?

# 157 : D. Kallison – “Killer Parties” – Hold Steady

The Hold Steady is my favorite band that still plays music on a regular basis. They’ve been called a “bar band” but they haven’t played a bar in a long time. This song, the last track on their first album, is everything that’s good about rock and roll right now. That bass comes in all confident and then the guitars are shredding all over the place and by the time the climax of the song hits, I dare you to stay in your seat. When The Hold Steady close out their set with this song, vocalist Craig Finn always says the same thing, “There is so much joy [and here he spreads his arms wide] in what we do up here. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. We are, you are, we all are The Hold Steady.” They don’t write rambling epic barnburners like they used to, but luckily, thanks to The Hold Steady, we have at least one more.

# 158 : C. Marler – “Move On Up” – Curtis Mayfield

Yet another song that is impossible to hear and not be in a good mood. It only takes two drum taps and roughly three seconds before this song brings absolute heat, and I am immediately trying to channel my inner  James Brown jimmy legs wherever I am. It combines two of my favorite things in music: great lyrics and an extended use of horns. Lost in the awesome sax and trumpet solo is the uplifting message  from Mayfield. Do yourself a favor and download the extended version on iTunes, and listen to a five-minute jam session of some of the most talented musicians from the ’70s.

# 159: A. O’Connor – “Forever” – Chris Brown  (auto-draft)

Since I listen to politically dubious black metal from Eastern Europe, I can’t comment on Chris Brown. 1

# 160 : R. Rich – “I Walk The Line” – Johnny Cash

I’m shocked this song stuck around for as long as it did. That’s a testament to the choices of some of the jagaloons in this draft. 2

# 161: R. Ramirez – “Pyramids” – Frank Ocean

Channel Orange is the runaway best album of 2012. And it’s also one of those transcendent, politically significant masterworks we’ll point to in 50 years when historians talk about 2012. You can kind of throw darts here, but I love the idea of a nine-minute single.

# 162: R. Johnny – “Criminal” – Fiona Apple

She’s been a bad, bad, girl. Fiona burst onto the music scene like a pouty little vampire, sinking her fangs into our hearts through songs crafted with a maturity beyond her years, and musicianship that was its equal. “Criminal” speaks of a young woman taking control of her sexuality, pushing the guys aside and letting them gaze–but never letting them touch.

# 163 : K. Gotsick – “No One is to Blame” – Howard Jones

“No One is to Blame” came out when I was a senior in high school. I was just smart enough to know that the lyrics were emo but just emo enough myself to think it was groundbreaking. This song marked the first time I thought “Finally! A song that talks to ME! I song that really knows who *I* am.” I bought it on cassingle and listened to it on a pink plastic boombox about 50 times a day, manually pressing the back button in between each play while crying for no reason or for a stupid reason. Upon re-listening to it now that I’m in my 40s, I’m a little embarrassed at the emo of it all. I still think it’s a perfect little pop song with a beautiful melody and musical surprises throughout–a great piano riff  lilting in the background over cowbell percussion, a guitar twang dropping in exactly the right spot, the most restrained use of gospel choir ever–and it comes off the board at the right time at 163.

# 164: D. Moskal – “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” – The Proclaimers

In college, my buddy Salem was notorious for making great mix CDs. But even better than the tracks he combined, were the names that he gave the CDs. A staple of all our parties was his CD titled “Fresh Beats” that was made up of dirty rap that we normally played before going out for the night. After the bar we’d always queue up “Guilty Pleasures” that featured “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)”. It’s hard to beat 3:00 a.m. drunkenly alternating the “baaadddda duppppa’s” between roommates.

# 165: B. Hurtik – “Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground” – The White Stripes

While “Seven Nation Army” has evolved into marching band fodder and Miami Heat rallying cry territory, this song has all the same good qualities without the overexposure. That overdriven guitar riff is one for the ages.

# 166: E. Strait – “Tribute” – Tenacious D

Everyone is bringing the heat in this round.I don’t want to be the one that ends the streak, so I called upon the D’s ode to the best song in the world.

# 167: F. Douche – “Walls” – Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Serious question: If you were having a draft for “Musicians that wouldn’t ever have sex if they couldn’t play an instrument,” would Tom Petty be the first overall pick? Maybe. But then if you took Petty with the #1 overall, the drafter picking from the #2 spot would blurt out “John Popper! I can’t believe you didn’t pick John Popper!”

Just kidding. I’d do Petty even if he’d never written one of the greatest straight to soundtrack songs of all time.

# 168 : Fantastico – “We Used to Vacation” – Cold War Kids

Probably my favorite current band, this jam is about being a recovering alcoholic father that relapses into old ways.  If I’m a kettle, this song is my pot.

The Teams Through 12 of 14 Rounds

Fantastico

“Paradise City,” Guns N’ Roses
“Microphone Fiend,” Eric B. and Rakim
“Try a Little Tenderness,” Otis Redding
“Spacy Oddity,” David Bowie
“Let’s Get It On,” Marvin Gaye
“Welcome Home (Sanitarium),” Metallica
“Do You Realize,” Flaming Lips
“One More Time,” Daft Punk
“God Only Knows,” Beach Boys
“Beat It,” Michael Jackson
“Kashmir,” Led Zeppelin
“We Used to Vacation,” Cold War Kids

Fantasy Douche

“Suspicious Minds,” Elvis Presley
“Layla,” Derek and the Dominos
“When Doves Cry,” Prince
“To Live and Die in LA,” Tupac Shakur
“Real Love,” Mary J. Blige
“Amarillo by Morning,” George Strait
“Chicago,” Sufjan Stevens
“Since U Been Gone,” Kelly Clarkson
“Alison,” Elvis Costello
“Midnight Train to Georgia,” Gladys Knight & the Pips
“November Rain,” Guns N Roses
“Walls,” Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers

Eddie Strait

“Billie Jean,” Michael Jackson
“Public Service Announcement,” Jay-Z
“Gimme Shelter,” Rolling Stones
“You Oughta Know,” Alanis Morissette
“Can’t Tell Me Nuthin’,” Kanye West
“Victory,” Puffy, Biggie, Busta
“New Noise,” Refused
“You’ve Got a Friend in Me,” Randy Newman
“Come On, Ride the Train,” Quad City DJs
“Poison,” Bell Biv Devoe
“How I Could Just Kill a Man,” Rage Against the Machine
“Tribute,” Tenacious D

Blake Hurtik

“Like a Rolling Stone,” Bob Dylan
“Dazed and Confused,” Led Zeppelin
“The Weight,” The Band
“Life During Wartime,” Talking Heads
“Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag,” James Brown
“Jesus Etc,” Wilco
“Maggie May,” Rod Stewart
“Down by the River,” Neil Young
“Say it Ain’t So,” Weezer
“Marquee Moon,” Television
“All Along the Watchtower,” Jimi Hendrix Experience
“Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground,” The White Stripes

Deion Moskal

“Welcome to the Jungle,” Guns N’ Roses
“In the Air Tonight,” Phil Collins
“Bohemian Rhapsody,” Queen
“B.O.B.,” OutKast
“Only The Good Die Young,” Billy Joel
“Closer,” Nine Inch Nails
“Beautiful People,” Marilyn Manson
“1979,” Smashing Pumpkins
“Dirt Off Your Shoulders / Bittersweet Symphony,” Jay-Z / The Verve
“Lake of Fire,” Nirvana
“I Will Always Love You,” Whitney Houston
“I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles),” The Proclaimers

Kat Gotsick

“It’s Tricky,” Run DMC
“Hotel California,” Eagles
“Comfortably Numb,” Pink Floyd
“Total Eclipse of the Heart,” Bonnie Taylor
“Have a Little Faith in Me,” John Hiatt
“Turn the Page,” Bob Seger
“Free Your Mind,” En Vogue
“Let it Be,” The Beatles
“All I Do is Win,” DJ Khaled
“Jungle Boogie,” Kool & the Gang
“Blind Faith,” Chase & Status
“No One is to Blame,” Howard Jones

Rumford Johnny

“Jumpin’ Jack Flash,” Rolling Stones
“Rhiannon,” Fleetwood Mac
“Scenario,” A Tribe Called Quest
“The Waiting,” Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
“Paul Revere,” Beastie Boys
“Blue Eyes Cryin’ in the Rain,” Willie Nelson
“Where Did you Sleep Last Night,” Leadbelly
“Up Around the Bend,” CCR
“Straight Outta Compton,” NWA
“Rehab,” Amy Winehouse
“Maps,” Yeah Yeah Yeahs
“Criminal,” Fiona Apple

Ramon Ramirez

“Happiness is a Warm Gun,” The Beatles
“Worms of the Senses / Faculties of the Skull,” Refused
“Cowboy Song,” Thin Lizzy
“Ms. Jackson,” OutKast
“I Was Made to Love Her,” Stevie Wonder
“Maybelline,” Chuck Berry
“Tender Years,” George Jones
“My Boo,” Ghost Town DJs
“Respect,” Aretha Franklin
“In My Life,” The Beatles
“Dance Yrself Clean,” LCD Soundsystem
“Pyramids,” Frank Ocean

Robert Rich

“Shine On You Crazy Diamond,” Pink Floyd
“Helter Skelter,” The Beatles
“99 Problems/Points of Authority/One Step Closer,” Jay-Z/Linkin Park
“Stan,” Eminem
“Paranoid Android,” Radiohead
“Pull Me Under,” Dream Theater
“Eulogy,” Tool
“The Thunder Rolls,” Garth Brooks
“Mirrors,” Justin Timberlake
“Rocket Man,” Elton John
“Wish You Were Here,” Pink Floyd
“I Walk the Line,” Johnny Cash

Andy O’Connor

“Overkill,” Motörhead
“Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell,” The Stooges
“Desperado,” The Eagles (auto-draft)
“Love Shack,” The B-52s (auto-draft)
“Thong Song,” Sisqo (auto-draft)
“Informer,” Snow (auto-draft)
“Thank You for Being a Friend,” Theme from Golden Girls (auto-draft)
“Rack City,” Tyga (auto-draft)
“American Pie,” Don McLean (auto-draft)
“All my Life,” KC and JoJo (auto-draft)
“Graduation,” Vitamin C (auto-draft)
“Forever,” Chris Brown (auto-draft)

Chris Marler

“Baba O’Riley,” The Who
“Sympathy for the Devil,” Rolling Stones
“Man in the Mirror,” Michael Jackson
“God Bless the USA,” Lee Greenwood
“Circle of Life,” The non-Elton John version for some reason
“No Diggity,” Blackstreet
“Will You Be There,” Michael Jackson
“Juicy,” The Notorious B.I.G.
“N****z in Paris,” Watch the Throne
“Use Me,” Bill Withers
“Friends Forever,” Zack Attack
“Move on Up,” Curtis Mayfield

David Kallison

“Just Like Heaven,” The Cure
“Smells Like Teen Spirit,” Nirvana
“Fast Car,” Tracy Chapman
“Tiny Dancer,” Elton John
“All of the Lights,” Kanye West
“Sounds of Silence,” Simon & Garfunkel
“This Year,” Mountain Goats
“Holland, 1945,” Neutral Milk Hotel
“Blister in the Sun,” Violent Femmes
“The Biggest Lie,” Elliott Smith
“There is a Light That Never Goes Out,” The Smiths
“Killer Parties,” The Hold Steady

Ken Griggs

“Hoochie Coochie Man,” Muddy Waters
“Heart of Gold,” Neil Young
“Dead Flowers,” Townes Van Zandt
“Exhibit C,” Jay Electronica
“Lawyers, Guns, and Money,” Warren Zevon
“Free Bird,” Lynyrd Skynyrd
“I’ve Always Been Crazy,” Waylon Jennings
“I’m Not Like Everybody Else,” The Kinks
“Jockey Full of Bourbon,” Tom Waits
“How Do You Want It?,” Tupac Shakur
“Watching the Wheels,” John Lennon
“Chelsea Hotel #2,” Leonard Cohen

Josh Klein

“I Want You Back,” Jackson Five
“Cry Me A River,” Justin Timberlake
“Humpty Dance,” Digital Underground
“Hallelujah,” Jeff Buckley
“Atlantic City,” Bruce Springsteen
“Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” Will Smith
“Kiss,” Prince
“You Can Call Me Al,” Paul Simon
“With or Without You,” U2
“Let Me Clear My Throat,” DJ Kool
“Two Step,” Dave Matthews Band

Notes:

  1. Ed. Note: Andy’s right. That’s a rule.
  2. See: the jagaloon that took Jay-Z and Linkin Park’s fourth-best collab.