Check out the early rounds of the Bro Jackson Best Song Ever Draft: Round 1 / Round 2 / Round 3 / Round 4  / Round 5 / Round 6

This is the time in the draft where the picks become more scatter shot. Some people are sticking to their strategy, some are throwing darts, and some are off in Maryland. Multiple picks in this round could be mistaken for auto-draft choices, but alas, only Andy’s pick was truly intended as a joke. With the “Golden Girls” theme in the middle, this round is particularly diverse with Sufjan Stevens and Marilyn Manson going alongside less showy but nonetheless stellar cuts from The Mountain Goats and Waylon.

Your general managers

Fantastico, Fantasy Douche, Eddie Strait, Blake Hurtik, Deion Moskal, Kat Gotsick, Rumford Johnny, Ramon Ramirez, Robert Rich, Andy O’Connor, Chris Marler, David Kallison, Ken Griggs, Josh Klein

Round 7

# 85 : Fantastico – “Do You Realize?” – The Flaming Lips

A beautiful song about the inevitable death of us all. Who knew it could be so happy.

# 86 : F. Douche – “Chicago” – Sufjan Stevens

This song was probably the most overplayed of any of the songs on my team. I actually find myself defending overplayed songs on a pretty regular basis because I think there’s such a thing as a song being too catchy for its own good. “Chicago” is far too catchy for its own good. Don’t even bring the song up to someone that’s actually from Chicago as they were subjected to water-board-like torture from radio stations for a few months when the song first came out. But none of that changes the fact that it is a good song or that when it came out it was delightful and didn’t sound like the other stuff on the radio. So I’m not willing to erase the song from my memory, just because it was overly successful.

# 87 : E. Strait – “New Noise” – Refused

Ramon startled me when he picked a Refused song in the second round. I was going to grab a Refused joint at some point, but I didn’t want to draft this song so close to his choice. That reeks of desperation (see also: the almost back-to-back Outkast picks, and Rob ruining the depth of this exercise with Jay-Z/Linkin Park). So I waited a few rounds and feel less self-conscious about it now.

# 88: B. Hurtik – “Maggie May” – Rod Stewart

There’s this movie called “Lords of Dogtown” about a bunch of skaters in the 1970s that stars Heath Ledger (R.I.P.) as this bro who runs a surfboard shop but he starts making skateboards for Stacy Peralta and a bunch of Tony Hawk clones and there’s this scene where Ledger (R.I.P.) is in is shop all sad and drunk and sanding surfboards when “Maggie May” comes on the radio and Ledger (R.I.P.) starts singing along and it’s a really beautiful scene that pops into my head each time I hear this song now and screw y’all Rod Stewart rules.

# 89 : D. Moskal – “Beautiful People” – Marilyn Manson

I went with Manson because I wanted people to get afraid of me, but I picked this song because I didn’t want to scare myself.

# 90 : K. Gotsick – “Free Your Mind”- En Vogue

Even such as it was, with me being a twenty-something pasty white liberal arts sorority girl, every time I heard this song, I felt like I could walk outside, pick a fight with a 6’6″ bouncer and win it. No wonder Evelyn Lozada is such a crazy bitch. She must have never stopped listening to this song as a teenager (I know I wouldn’t have if I had been a black girl) and damn if she isn’t unrealistic in every aspect of her life. On the other hand, no wonder Michelle Obama is such a tremendously powerful feminine presence. Both were empowered by the strength of this song. Its effect should not be underestimated.

# 91: R. Johnny – “Where Did You Sleep Last Night”- Leadbelly

Everyone from this generation recalls the Nirvana Unplugged cover, but few recall the hearfelt anguish of the original. Leadbelly lived the blues, and his broken heart aches in this song, and ability to rise from the ashes in the wake of a conflicted relationship resonates in the power of his music.

# 92: R. Ramirez – “Tender Years” – George Jones

No doubt about it–this pick is influenced by the recent death of the iconic country singer. And also because I’m drafting with a balanced diet, and constantly playing boring cop to make sure we encompass enough genres and eras. It’s a perfect and textbook country number about waiting for her. Jones has dozens of ’em. Here his muse is seeing someone, and he plays it cool: Good luck with all that, I’m sure it’s real love, he basically tells her. But he’s a snake in the grass, “But in time you’ll understand dear, when you shed a tear, then you’ll know that you were living in your tender years.”

# 93: R. Rich – “Eulogy” – Tool

Like all Tool songs, there’s disagreement on the meaning of “Eulogy,” but drummer Danny Carey himself has said it’s about L. Ron Hubbard. Considering that it starts with the line, “He had a lot to say/ He had a lot of nothing to say,” that’s awesome. It’s a heavy tune that finds vocalist Maynard James Keenan spouting off in typical angry/sarcastic fashion, and it rocks. It’s also one of the first songs I ever heard unedited, so it will always hold a special place in my heart.

# 94: A. O’Connor – “Thank You for Being a Friend” – Theme from Golden Girls  [Auto-Draft]

No comment.

# 95 : C. Marler – “Will You Be There” – Michael Jackson

At this point of the draft I’m riding a wave of confidence I can barely describe. My last three selections were all high on my board. Now, it’s time to pull a sleeper pick from an icon. Look no further than the Free Willy song. The MAIN characteristic I look for in a great song is whether or not it is a song that can lead to a dramatic overhead clap with the crowd. Not only does this song meet that criterion, but it does so while a damn killer whale is flying over a boy’s head to escape into the ocean. Is there a more iconic picture  than Jesse reaching up for Willy on the VHS cover of “Free Willy?”

# 96 : D. Kallison – “This Year” – The Mountain Goats

I could go into the emotional weight of this song, how it’s about escaping an abusive stepfather. Or I could tell you about how much the song meant when I left New York to seek a better life in my hometown. But that’s like drafting Tim Tebow because he’s Christian. This is about the song. For a band with concept albums, songs about everyone from H.P. Lovecraft to little-known singer Frankie Lymon, and a literary sensitivity, this song is blunt and brief. It’s simple, just that acoustic guitar, drums, and a little bass, and yet it nearly explodes out of the headphones. When lead singer John Darnielle screams “They’ll be feasting and dancing in Jerusalem next year” it’s about the happiest moment I’ve ever experienced in music. For a song soaked in desolation, there’s an endearing, almost palpable, optimism lingering after the final chorus. If America’s transcendental youth had a national anthem, this would be it.

# 97 : K. Griggs – “I’ve Always Been Crazy” – Waylon Jennings

The most underrated of the Outlaws and the best guitar player among them, Jennings’ body of work is astounding. “I’ve Always Been Crazy” was written after his run-in with the law in the 70s. He was an introspective guy and his songs were deep and sometimes dark. His version of “Tomorrow Night in Baltimore,” a song about a guy chasing after a stripper, is one of the most desperate and fast-paced songs in country history and when my mom played the album when I was a kid it changed me for the better. This adds depth to my squad and my team is literally the toughest bag of hardcore bastards in this draft. Also, Jennings is quoted for the best insult ever. The story goes that he said of Garth Brooks and guys like him: “They’re doing for country music what panty hose did for finger-fucking.” Drop the mic.

# 98 : J. Klein – “Kiss”- Prince

Ed. Note: A YouTube video of Prince singing this song doesn’t seem to exist because he’s a control freak. Enjoy Tom Jones in his stead.

Use one of  these two lyrics to admonish your friends in a variety of situations: “Act your age mama, not your shoe size,” or “You don’t have to watch Dynasty to have an attitude,” you won’t sound as cool as Prince does (it’s almost impossible to in ANY situation), but you might come close.

The Teams Through Seven of 14 Rounds


“Paradise City,” Guns N’ Roses
“Microphone Fiend,” Eric B. and Rakim
“Try a Little Tenderness,” Otis Redding
“Spacy Oddity,” David Bowie
“Let’s Get It On,” Marvin Gaye
“Welcome Home (Sanitarium),” Metallica
“Do You Realize,” Flaming Lips

Fantasy Douche

“Suspicious Minds,” Elvis Presley
“Layla,” Derek and the Dominos
“When Doves Cry,” Prince
“To Live and Die in LA,” Tupac Shakur
“Real Love,” Mary J. Blige
“Amarillo by Morning,” George Strait
“Chicago,” Sufjan Stevens

Eddie Strait

“Billie Jean,” Michael Jackson
“Public Service Announcement,” Jay-Z
“Gimme Shelter,” Rolling Stones
“You Oughta Know,” Alanis Morissette
“Can’t Tell Me Nuthin’,” Kanye West
“Victory,” Puffy, Biggie, Busta
“New Noise,” Refused

Blake Hurtik

“Like a Rolling Stone,” Bob Dylan
“Dazed and Confused,” Led Zeppelin
“The Weight,” The Band
“Life During Wartime,” Talking Heads
“Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag,” James Brown
“Jesus Etc,” Wilco
“Maggie May,” Rod Stewart

Deion Moskal

“Welcome to the Jungle,” Guns N’ Roses
“In the Air Tonight,” Phil Collins
“Bohemian Rhapsody,” Queen
“B.O.B.,” OutKast
“Only The Good Die Young,” Billy Joel
“Closer,” Nine Inch Nails
“Beautiful People,” Marilyn Manson

Kat Gotsick

“It’s Tricky,” Run DMC
“Hotel California,” Eagles
“Comfortably Numb,” Pink Floyd
“Total Eclipse of the Heart,” Bonnie Taylor
“Have a Little Faith in Me,” John Hiatt
“Turn the Page,” Bob Seger
“Free Your Mind,” En Vogue

Rumford Johnny

“Jumpin’ Jack Flash,” Rolling Stones
“Rhiannon,” Fleetwood Mac
“Scenario,” A Tribe Called Quest
“The Waiting,” Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
“Paul Revere,” Beastie Boys
“Blue Eyes Cryin’ in the Rain,” Willie Nelson
“Where Did you Sleep Last Night,” Leadbelly

Ramon Ramirez

“Happiness is a Warm Gun,” The Beatles
“Worms of the Senses / Faculties of the Skull,” Refused
“Cowboy Song,” Thin Lizzy
“Ms. Jackson,” OutKast
“I Was Made to Love Her,” Stevie Wonder
“Maybelline,” Chuck Berry
“Tender Years,” George Jones

Robert Rich

“Shine On You Crazy Diamond,” Pink Floyd
“Helter Skelter,” The Beatles
“99 Problems/Points of Authority/One Step Closer,” Jay-Z/Linkin Park
“Stan,” Eminem
“Paranoid Android,” Radiohead
“Pull Me Under,” Dream Theater
“Eulogy,” Tool

Andy O’Connor

“Overkill,” Motörhead
“Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell,” The Stooges
“Desperado,” The Eagles (auto-draft)
“Love Shack,” The B-52s (auto-draft)
“Thong Song,” Sisqo (auto-draft)
“Informer,” Snow (auto-draft)
“Thank You for Being a Friend,” Theme from Golden Girls (auto-draft)

Chris Marler

“Baba O’Riley,” The Who
“Sympathy for the Devil,” Rolling Stones
“Man in the Mirror,” Michael Jackson
“God Bless the USA,” Lee Greenwood
“Circle of Life,” The non-Elton John version for some reason
“No Diggity,” Blackstreet
“Will You Be There,” Michael Jackson

David Kallison

“Just Like Heaven,” The Cure
“Smells Like Teen Spirit,” Nirvana
“Fast Car,” Tracy Chapman
“Tiny Dancer,” Elton John
“All of the Lights,” David Kallison
“Sounds of Silence,” Simon & Garfunkel
“This Year,” Mountain Goats

Ken Griggs

“Hoochie Coochie Man,” Muddy Waters
“Heart of Gold,” Neil Young
“Dead Flowers,” Townes Van Zandt
“Exhibit C,” Jay Electronica
“Lawyers, Guns, and Money,” Warren Zevon
“Free Bird,” Lynyrd Skynyrd
“I’ve Always Been Crazy,” Waylon Jennings

Josh Klein

“I Want You Back,” Jackson Five
“Cry Me A River,” Justin Timberlake
“Humpty Dance,” Digital Underground
“Hallelujah,” Jeff Buckley
“Atlantic City,” Bruce Springsteen
“Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” Will Smith
“Kiss,” Prince