Check out the early rounds of the Bro Jackson Best Song Ever Draft: Round 1 / Round 2 / Round 3 / Round 4  / Round 5 / Round 6 / Round 7

Round 8 marks the beginning of the second half of this draft. Through seven rounds I started to notice that people didn’t give a flying wet duck’s ass about traditional lists and I had to tip my hat to everyone for not following the status quo. Around Round 4 with my choice of Jay Electronica‘s “Exhibit C” I started drafting from my gut and not with my head. This is much like most of the fantasy football drafts I do. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it blows up in my face.

But here, with the 100th overall selection, I take the first Kinks song off the board. You’ll notice by my comment that I thought highly of the pick. Looking over my selections thus far, however, I see my list isn’t nearly as impressive as some. Turns out I only know about music I like. But is that such a bad thing? As Jay-Z once said, “Respect the game that should be it/What you eat don’t make me shit.”

This round features an eclectic group of artists, from Biggie to Paul Simon. My personal favorite—aside from my own pick, of course—is David Kallison‘s selection of “Holland, 1945” by Neutral Milk Hotel. Aside from having one of the best band names off all-time, they are also April Ludgate‘s favorite band. Kat Gotsick obviously believes she got the steal of the draft with “Let It Be” by the Beatles at 107 overall, but little does she know I avoided taking Beatles songs just so I ridicule those who did. It’s a silly strategy, akin to not drafting any New England Patriots players in a fantasy football draft.

The only thing that is certain through eight rounds is that my team is the best.

Your general managers

Fantastico, Fantasy Douche, Eddie Strait, Blake Hurtik, Deion Moskal, Kat Gotsick, Rumford Johnny, Ramon Ramirez, Robert Rich, Andy O’Connor, Chris Marler, David Kallison, Ken Griggs, Josh Klein

Round 8

# 99 : J. Klein – “You Can Call Me Al” – Paul Simon

Debated a bunch of different Paul Simon songs at this pick, but ultimately decided to go with the most fun (Chevy Chase!) vs. the most musically adventurous (“Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes”), the most ridiculous(“50 Ways To Leave Your Lover”), the most patriotic (“An American Tune”), any from the Simon & Garfunkel era (pick one, I would have gone with “Cecilia,” but that’s just me), the most nostalgic (“Kodachrome”), the most aching (“The Late Great Johnny Ace”), or the one covered by my favorite band. Plus that palindrome bass line is fucking awesome.

# 100 : K. Griggs – “I’m Not Like Everybody Else” – The Kinks

The pick most would probably go with would be “Waterloo Sunset” or “Lola,”  but lyrically this song has special meaning for me. Don’t all of us want to be nothing like everybody else? What’s the fun in that? The best thing about The Kinks is that they not only have some wonderful tunes scattered about on Wes Anderson movie soundtracks, their songs rock. Getting a Kinks song at 100 overall is a serious slap in the face to every other git in this draft. I’m owning this draft.

# 101 : D. Kallison – “Holland, 1945” – Neutral Milk Hotel

This song is about Anne Frank and Nazis and insects and maybe suicide and maybe none of those things. Regardless, it’s a bazooka of a song with enough fuzz to smother a muppet. It’s weird and wonderful and, of all the songs on my list, the one I’m most proud of picking.

# 102 : C. Marler – “Juicy” – The Notorious B.I.G.

This song is a fantastic rags to riches saga by a lyrical genius. It starts with a short monologue of satirical thanks to everybody who doubted him., then takes you to a vivid four minute trip of vindication and triumph. Also it’s full of motivational and timeless lyrics about overcoming adversity, including my personal favorite, “Birthdays was the worst days now sip champagne when we thirsty.” If you don’t have the words to this memorized, something is up.

# 103: A. O’Connor – “Rack City” – Tyga  [Auto-Draft]

I love shitty rap. Yeah, you see me out here heshing it up in my cult metal tees. You see me out here ’bout that #noiselife. But no, I get down to some truly awful club jams too. People are at first surprised, then they know me as the metal dude down with ‘hood shit. This shit’s all fantasy anyway. “Rack City” is not among the best–it’s no “Back That Azz Up” or “Pop That”–but you still see me out here throwing my music journalist racks on these hoes. Yeah, I say “out here” a lot. Get used to it. BRO JACKSON WE OUT HERE.[ref]Ed. note: Not sure, but I think Josh Klein actually wrote this.[/ref]

# 104 : R. Rich – “The Thunder Rolls” – Garth Brooks

This is prime country. And there’s not near enough of it in this draft.

# 105: R. Ramirez – “My Boo” – Ghost Town DJs

This is a two-headed coin. First, a seminal relic from a childhood age of recording the radio with my Talkboy. When people listen to the radio, songs carve out real estate in your brain and this figurative plot is grandfathered into your memory forever. What’s been so wonderful about these first few years of Spotify is pulling up these old FM r&b songs and listening to them without static or edits. But that felt like cheating–this is music made to survive spotty transmissions. “My Boo” is a masterpiece destined to program summer cookouts until there is no summer. People react to “Poison” and “This Is How We Do It” more instantaneously, “Boo” re-awakens a feeling you thought long buried. It’s why the cool DJs drop this during hipster parties, and that’s unfortunate.

# 106 : R. Johnny – “Up Around the Bend” – Creedence Clearwater Revival

The opening guitar luck. John Fogerty’s guitar playing was vastly underrated, and the hooks were so infectious. I embrace CCR’s whole catalog, much like the Bob’s in “Office Space,” but this one is a dandy.

# 107 : K. Gotsick – “Let it Be” – The Beatles

When I was a cheerleader in high school, I had the bad fortune to attend a school that competed in the same region as the legendary Greenup County cheerleading team. Well, that’s not exactly true. You couldn’t actually hope to compete against them . . . they were utterly insurmountable–18 strong, perfectly synchronized, no one was eligible for the team unless you could do a standing back tuck. You could only hope to come in second. When you did, it was as if you had won the World Series and the World Cup and the World Heavyweight Championship at the same time somehow. Everyone took it for granted that Greenup would come in first. When I looked at my team, I realized that’s how I felt about the Beatles–I took it for granted that they were the best possible choice and so I chose everyone else first. Then I caught myself in ROUND 8 OMG WITH NO BEATLES. I LOVE THEBEATLESWHATHAVEIDONE?!?!?!?
“Let it Be” is without a doubt my favorite Beatles tune. I am ashamed I didn’t take it until #108.

# 108: D. Moskal – “1979” – Smashing Pumpkins

When I picked this song I thought it was “Zero.” That song goes hard. I also would have rather had “Bullet With Butterfly Wings” in this spot. At least I didn’t totally mess up and pick a Zwan song.

# 109 : B. Hurtik – “Down by the River” – Neil Young

As a devout follower of all things Neil, I was a bit disheartened to see Ken Griggs be the one to grab “Heart of Gold” so early. But really, it took the onus off me. That song has to be the first Young song taken, but it’s by no means his best. Freed from those shackles, I had my pick of Young’s absurdly long catalog. I almost went with my old Crazy Horse favorites “Powderfinger” or “Tonight’s the Night,” or everyone’s favorite ode to Charles Manson, “Revolution Blues.” But eventually I settled between two of Young’s definitive, sprawling electric songs: “Down by the River” and “Cowgirl in the Sand.” I went with my gut, and chose the former. The guitar intro gets me every time and my voices always breaks as I try to match the soaring high notes of the chorus. And, yeah man, the one-note solo that made Neil and Old Black legends are there in all their monotonous glory.

# 110: E. Strait – “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” – Randy Newman

If I had done real research and draft prep, this would’ve been my movie tie-in selection. I kind of regret using two picks for the same void, but oh well. Making me feel a better is the immediate response from Kallison: “I could write 2000 words about why I hate Randy Newman.”

# 111: F. Douche – “Since U Been Gone” – Kelly Clarkson

I’m pretty sure that this song was featured prominently on an episode of MTV’s “Laguna Beach” back in the day. I don’t remember exactly how old I was when I was watching “Laguna Beach,” but it wouldn’t be irresponsible speculation if you guessed “too old.”

# 112 : Fantastico- “One More Time” – Daft Punk

This was the first song played at my wedding. I actually like a few Daft Punk Songs more, but this one is appropriate for any occasion and any age group and any species. I dig the versatility of this jam.

The Teams Through Eight of 14 Rounds


“Paradise City,” Guns N’ Roses
“Microphone Fiend,” Eric B. and Rakim
“Try a Little Tenderness,” Otis Redding
“Spacy Oddity,” David Bowie
“Let’s Get It On,” Marvin Gaye
“Welcome Home (Sanitarium),” Metallica
“Do You Realize,” Flaming Lips
“One More Time,” Daft Punk

Fantasy Douche

“Suspicious Minds,” Elvis Presley
“Layla,” Derek and the Dominos
“When Doves Cry,” Prince
“To Live and Die in LA,” Tupac Shakur
“Real Love,” Mary J. Blige
“Amarillo by Morning,” George Strait
“Chicago,” Sufjan Stevens
“Since U Been Gone,” Kelly Clarkson

Eddie Strait

“Billie Jean,” Michael Jackson
“Public Service Announcement,” Jay-Z
“Gimme Shelter,” Rolling Stones
“You Oughta Know,” Alanis Morissette
“Can’t Tell Me Nuthin’,” Kanye West
“Victory,” Puffy, Biggie, Busta
“New Noise,” Refused
“You’ve Got a Friend in Me,” Randy Newman

Blake Hurtik

“Like a Rolling Stone,” Bob Dylan
“Dazed and Confused,” Led Zeppelin
“The Weight,” The Band
“Life During Wartime,” Talking Heads
“Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag,” James Brown
“Jesus Etc,” Wilco
“Maggie May,” Rod Stewart
“Down by the River,” Neil Young

Deion Moskal

“Welcome to the Jungle,” Guns N’ Roses
“In the Air Tonight,” Phil Collins
“Bohemian Rhapsody,” Queen
“B.O.B.,” OutKast
“Only The Good Die Young,” Billy Joel
“Closer,” Nine Inch Nails
“Beautiful People,” Marilyn Manson
“1979,” Smashing Pumpkins

Kat Gotsick

“It’s Tricky,” Run DMC
“Hotel California,” Eagles
“Comfortably Numb,” Pink Floyd
“Total Eclipse of the Heart,” Bonnie Taylor
“Have a Little Faith in Me,” John Hiatt
“Turn the Page,” Bob Seger
“Free Your Mind,” En Vogue
“Let it Be,” The Beatles

Rumford Johnny

“Jumpin’ Jack Flash,” Rolling Stones
“Rhiannon,” Fleetwood Mac
“Scenario,” A Tribe Called Quest
“The Waiting,” Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
“Paul Revere,” Beastie Boys
“Blue Eyes Cryin’ in the Rain,” Willie Nelson
“Where Did you Sleep Last Night,” Leadbelly
“Up Around the Bend,” CCR

Ramon Ramirez

“Happiness is a Warm Gun,” The Beatles
“Worms of the Senses / Faculties of the Skull,” Refused
“Cowboy Song,” Thin Lizzy
“Ms. Jackson,” OutKast
“I Was Made to Love Her,” Stevie Wonder
“Maybelline,” Chuck Berry
“Tender Years,” George Jones
“My Boo,” Ghost Town DJs

Robert Rich

“Shine On You Crazy Diamond,” Pink Floyd
“Helter Skelter,” The Beatles
“99 Problems/Points of Authority/One Step Closer,” Jay-Z/Linkin Park
“Stan,” Eminem
“Paranoid Android,” Radiohead
“Pull Me Under,” Dream Theater
“Eulogy,” Tool
“The Thunder Rolls,” Garth Brooks

Andy O’Connor

“Overkill,” Motörhead
“Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell,” The Stooges
“Desperado,” The Eagles (auto-draft)
“Love Shack,” The B-52s (auto-draft)
“Thong Song,” Sisqo (auto-draft)
“Informer,” Snow (auto-draft)
“Thank You for Being a Friend,” Theme from Golden Girls (auto-draft)
“Rack City,” Tyga (auto-draft)

Chris Marler

“Baba O’Riley,” The Who
“Sympathy for the Devil,” Rolling Stones
“Man in the Mirror,” Michael Jackson
“God Bless the USA,” Lee Greenwood
“Circle of Life,” The non-Elton John version for some reason
“No Diggity,” Blackstreet
“Will You Be There,” Michael Jackson
“Juicy,” The Notorious B.I.G.

David Kallison

“Just Like Heaven,” The Cure
“Smells Like Teen Spirit,” Nirvana
“Fast Car,” Tracy Chapman
“Tiny Dancer,” Elton John
“All of the Lights,” Kanye West
“Sounds of Silence,” Simon & Garfunkel
“This Year,” Mountain Goats
“Holland, 1945,” Neutral Milk Hotel

Ken Griggs

“Hoochie Coochie Man,” Muddy Waters
“Heart of Gold,” Neil Young
“Dead Flowers,” Townes Van Zandt
“Exhibit C,” Jay Electronica
“Lawyers, Guns, and Money,” Warren Zevon
“Free Bird,” Lynyrd Skynyrd
“I’ve Always Been Crazy,” Waylon Jennings
“I’m Not Like Everybody Else,” The Kinks

Josh Klein

“I Want You Back,” Jackson Five
“Cry Me A River,” Justin Timberlake
“Humpty Dance,” Digital Underground
“Hallelujah,” Jeff Buckley
“Atlantic City,” Bruce Springsteen
“Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” Will Smith
“Kiss,” Prince
“You Can Call Me Al,” Paul Simon