andrew shaw

NHL Poke Check: School’s out

Jun 4, 2013
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Hockey is winding down. It’s down to the last four Stanley Cup champs in a playoff foursome for the ages. Perfect time to dish end-of-school-year awards.

Most Likely to Succeed – Chicago Blackhawks. With the newly formed conferences and divisions going into effect next year, the Blackhawks will be sitting pretty as the season rolls around. Division B has the least amount of playoff teams in it, and if it wasn’t for holding on in the last game of the season, Minnesota wouldn’t have been in dance either.

Best Hair – It’s hard not to go with Brent Burns here. Burns is bringing the caveman look back. Paleolithic chic from the San Jose Shark Forward/Defenseman/Yeti.

Biggest Flirt – Columbus Blue Jackets. So close. The late charge to the playoffs coupled with the nifty trade deadline moves have this team poised to make a playoff jump. Only problem is they have been relocated into Division D.

Nicest Eyes Tuukka Rask. The Finnish netminder has a thousand-yard stare like Michael Shannon and the nifty save percentage to boot. Nicest eyes? Sure, if by nice you mean like an eagle hunting prey nice, then you’re good.

Nicest SmileSidney Crosby. At the very least it’s the newest. After having his grill knocked in from an errant puck, Syd the Kid is sporting some new chicklets. Dig those pearly ceramics. He should have got some gold ones put in.

Most Likely to be PresidentDustin Brown. Hard-working American. A proven winner. A plus smile. Eventually will be 35. Lives in California, where weird celebrity types become elected officials all the time.

Most SpiritedAndrew Shaw. My love/hate relationship with Shaw continues to blossom. His tenacity and energy have helped right the ship in Chicago after a near disaster in Detroit Rock City. He commits so many stupid penalties, but in hockey circles an energy guy can be rough around the edges.

Biggest ChatterboxPK Subban. Be it in interviews or on the ice, no one is more proud of Subban’s prowess than the man himself. In a sport mostly devoid of out of proportion egos, PK is keeping the spirit alive. How good is Subban? Just ask him.

Most CreativePavel Datsyuk. After watching him extremely closey in the Red Wings-Blackhawks series, he makes little moves that no one else on the planet makes. He is a joy to watch and I’ll miss him dearly when he jumps to the Eastern Conference (no I won’t, but I have to say it).

Most OutgoingRoberto Luongo. After a dismal showing in the playoffs this season, the script doesn’t just need to be flipped in British Columbia. The script needs to be burned at the stake and then those ashes need to be set on fire. It all starts with getting rid of Luongo. The trade should have happened 15 months ago.

Most Likely to Live in a Van Down by the RiverPhil Kessel. He just kinda looks like a dude that would have a tough time making ends meet and would have to relocate to river front property in his house on wheels.

Valedictorian – David Krejci. If the playoffs ended today he’d get my nod as the Conn Smythe winner.

Salutatorian – Corey Crawford.  If they gave out a runner up for the Conn Smythe award Crawford would be my second choice.

Have a great summer! BFFs!

Um, let's see, I don't know, maybe about six feet tall and two hundred pounds? I've been doing theater and improv in Chicago for a while now. Like fifteen years or so. O, yeah, I have a full day, day job for insurance and monetary purposes (no more half days with a big nap in the afternoon). I work as a project manager for a metal manufacturing plant. Huh? O, ah, two kids a wife. Yeah, they're great. I mean, not all the time great, like Brady Bunch shit, but no one has burned the house down yet. So, yeah, I guess that's it. I didn't get the job, did I?