Broject Runway: I’m an emotional crazy Russian

Aug 16, 2013

The bigger they are the harder they fall.  Without our star, we’re just left with a hammer and a sickle.

Last week’s episode was a gold star classic. This week we were treated to the bottom of the sine wave. At this point, 12 seasons into “Project runway,” the rebound episode is par for the course. After front-loading the season with mythical creature loving weirdos and manic depressive snow leopards, there was bound to be a letdown of biblical proportions.

The producers tried to manufacture drama this week by combining a pinch of unconventional (again?), a dash of group dynamic (again?), and the slightest sliver of time (a single day). What they got was pressure but not like the pressure that compacts coal into diamonds. It was more like a pestle (Ken) grinding against a mortar (Sue) to produce flour. Flour that will later used to make bread, and we all know how exciting bread is.

While waiting for the yeast to rise, Sandro wandered in from the street to put a button on a very open shirt. Suprisingly contrite, Sandro seemed to be on the upswing of his medication and apologized to Helen by name and Ken by pronoun. Everyone’s favorite Russian DJ of the English language mixed metaphors, while letting everyone know that it was he, not them, that was the problem. Some nodded in acceptance while other blew him off. Either way, it was the most interesting thing that happened all night. And then like Keyser Soze, he was gone (again). My only hope is this act of penance opens the door for a mighty apprentice return later this season. Fingers crossed.


Um, let's see, I don't know, maybe about six feet tall and two hundred pounds? I've been doing theater and improv in Chicago for a while now. Like fifteen years or so. O, yeah, I have a full day, day job for insurance and monetary purposes (no more half days with a big nap in the afternoon). I work as a project manager for a metal manufacturing plant. Huh? O, ah, two kids a wife. Yeah, they're great. I mean, not all the time great, like Brady Bunch shit, but no one has burned the house down yet. So, yeah, I guess that's it. I didn't get the job, did I?