Broject Runway: She had a foaming vagina

Aug 23, 2013
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Tensions have been running full throttle ever since Hurricane Sandro devastated the Garment District and Monsoon Ken rained on everyone’s parade. To foster a gentler and more collective soul for the remaining contestants, “Project Runway” decided it would be acceptable to add a few letters to the beginning of a word to form a cutesy version of the original, and so “glamping” was born. LAME. Broject, er, “Project Runway” transported our top 11 designers to the wilderness for some faux camping in flowy linen tents with catered meals and real wine glasses.

Somehow they worked in an product placement for nature. I wonder how much nature paid. Seriously, these placements are getting out of control. I will never remember the bottled water company that bought this episode. I will forever just think of them as “nature.”

Everyone seemed to play nice, and even Ken, who let us know that he hates just about everything, enjoyed the sloth-paced river rafting and zip line that gave them a majestic view of the freeway. As the night wore on, everyone seemed to be inspired by the sights and sounds of nature. Recharge complete, our intrepid glampers were prison-bussed back to New York City in order to start on the challenge.

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Um, let's see, I don't know, maybe about six feet tall and two hundred pounds? I've been doing theater and improv in Chicago for a while now. Like fifteen years or so. O, yeah, I have a full day, day job for insurance and monetary purposes (no more half days with a big nap in the afternoon). I work as a project manager for a metal manufacturing plant. Huh? O, ah, two kids a wife. Yeah, they're great. I mean, not all the time great, like Brady Bunch shit, but no one has burned the house down yet. So, yeah, I guess that's it. I didn't get the job, did I?

  • Harri Boyd

    Did you forget that Karen existed again?! Not that I blame you…

  • Pete Fitzsimmons

    It was kind of a nod to her invisibility, athough it may look like I forgot her. Which I did. Whoopsie. I’d put her at 7.5. She plays well with others so I give her a slightly better chance then Ken. Thanks for the catch and the read.

  • Joanna Hustler-Sterngold

    “If you leave your dress alone with Bill Clinton, this is what it would look like.” Yup, that just killed me. And I just want to state for the record that I don’t like any of them. All of the crazies ended up being bad crazy. I miss Dandy :(

    • Pete Fitzsimmons

      It’s always nice when a big personality is talented. I miss so many of our fallen comrades. My favorite was Santino.

      • Joanna Hustler-Sterngold

        Then I really truly do hope that you’ve seen RuPaul’s Drag Race! He’s a judge. I feel like that show could make for an excellent new blog, too, if you’re up for it!

        • Pete Fitzsimmons

          I’ve seen a few episodes. I dig it, problem is I haven’t really seen all the episodes. I think you need to see the show from jump street to have a good gauge on what the dynamic of the show is. Plus what I love about runway is they produce a tangible product. I’m not a huge Gordon Ramsey fan, but I love the home cook show Masterchef. They have one coming up for juniors. I might try to do that one. Kids under pressure on camera are wonderful.