emmys

The Emmys: A Drinking Game

Sep 20, 2013
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Party Planner, how many times have you felt like just sitting in front of the TV and not throwing a party? Not that many times, right? Because mostly, parties are better than TV. But not always. Every once in a while maybe,  juuuuust maybe, a TV show is actually better than a party. What better reason to throw a party than to celebrate TV that is better than throwing a party? Let’s drink to the Emmys.

What’s that you say? The Emmys are boring and repetitive? The Emmys are the PERFECT opportunity to get together with friends and have something play on TV in the background. The less you pay attention to the show the longer you will watch it. To help get you and your guests through the maudlin speeches, you should make some bets on who will win and play this drinking game.

The Party Plan

You’ll obviously have to take that red carpet out of mothballs and hire your neighbors’ children to pose as paparazzi. If your neighbors don’t have children, cats will suffice.

Drinks

Mad Menhattan- 3/4 oz sweet vermouth, 2 1/2 oz bourbon whiskey, no matter how well you make it you will continue to feel unsatisfied.
The Big Tang Theory – Spiked Tang. It’s how astronauts get drunk.
KahLouie – Kahlua with some creamy, creamy milk that everyone loves.
30 on the Rocks – A Liz Lemondrop shot that you only get to enjoy one last time.
Veep – A peep soaked in Vodka.
Damian Brewis – A home brewed beer that you can’t decide is good or bad.
Summer Schandal – This drink will help manage any crisis.
Betty White Russian – People can’t get enough of this drink but be careful it will knock you off your rocker.
New Patrick Glarus – A small brewing company with a lot of range that is sure to please everyone.

Food

Fountain Abbey – A chocolate fountain in which the upper drizzles are decadent and the lower drizzles are bittersweet.
You know Stuffing, Jon Snow – Stuffing that is traditionally served at Red Weddings.
Behind The Candelabrats – Really, really fabulous Vienna sausages.
Hashville – Southern hashbrowns that are so good, they’ll make you sing.
Project Bunway – Use what you have in your kitchen to make your own hot dog buns. Make it work, people.

The Drinking Game

Rules (drink every time one of these things happen)

Any time any of the following people are shown in the audience:

  • Peter Dinklage
  • Mandy Patinkin
  • Christina Hendricks
  • Lena Dunham
  • Hayden Panetierre
  • Jimmy Kimmel
  • Any of the child actors from “Modern Family”
  • Shonda Rhimes
  • Benedict Cumberbatch
  • An acting nominee you’ve never heard of
  • Scott Bakula
  • Ryan Seacrest

A presenter’s joke falls flat.
An animated character presents an award.
Claire Danes makes crazy eyes.
A tweet you read is more entertaining than the show.
A “Candelabra” innuendo joke is made.

Sip it / Gulp it

Neil Patrick Harris – sip every time he sings, charms, jokes, bedazzles or dances. Gulp when he does them all at the same time.
A Netflix show – sip every time one wins. Gulp when the importance of this historic win is greatly exaggerated.
“Breaking Bad” – sip every time it dominates and everyone is happy. Gulp every time it loses and everyone protests.

Rapid Fire Round

Put your cup to your lips and toss a sip back every time an actor thanks one of the following: “His/Her agent, agency, manager, the producers, the network, the director, the casting agent, the cast, the crew, and their family that love and support means everything to them.”