Did you read Ronda Rousey’s AMA on Monday and fall in love all over again? Wait, bro. Are you saying that Ronda Rousey isn’t your current dream girlfriend? You’re probably a little intimidated after hearing her ex-boyfriend trash talk her on Joe Rogan’s podcast “Fight Companion” (JOE ROGAN HAS A PODCAST?!), saying that he was “too much man” for her and that she needs a Stedman to her Oprah. Okay, MMA fighter Brendan Schaub. Lolz. Big ups to Joe Rogan though for stopping Schaub from going any further without Rousey there to defend herself.

Bitter ex-boyfriends aside, Ronda Rousey is everything you want and more in a fiery, fierce lady. She is my new Beyonce. Not sold? Then maybe you haven’t watched her win UFC fights in length of a GIF. Here is the 411 for the six of you who are uninitiated. 

Ronda Rousey is 28 years old and fierce AF. She has overcome so much. She did not speak for the first four years of her life due to complications during birth. Her father committed suicide when she was eight years old. She overcame an eating disorder. Wal-Mart won’t display her autobiography because they found it “too violent.” (You can buy a gun at Wal-Mart, FWIW.) And in spite of all that, she is the first and only UFC women’s champion.

Rousey was the first American woman to medal in judo in 2008’s Beijing Summer Olympics. This is apparently hereditary. Her mother was the first American to win a World Judo Championship. That’s American person, man or woman. Rousey also won a World Junior Championship in 2004, but decided to retire from judo after the Olympics at age 21.

By 2010, she had transitioned into MMA fighting. She won every single fight in less than a minute. The woman loves to use an armbar for submission. It works. She won even with a broken jaw, y’all. With an armbar. In less than a minute.

She signed as the first female fighter in the UFC in 2012. In her 12-0 record, 11 of those fights ended in the first round. Only one took it all the way to the third before Rousey defeated her opponent. She might have come onto your radar in July 2014, when she knocked out Alexis Davis  sixteen seconds into the first round. Or in February 2015, when she had Cat Zingano submit via armbar in 14 seconds. Or just a couple weeks ago, August 1, 2015, after Bethe Correia shit-talked and taunted Rousey about her father’s suicide for days leading up to the match. Rousey used Correia’s own taunt of “Don’t cry” against her before knocking her out in 34 seconds.

Please excuse her starring in the “Entourage” movie. Though she was undoubtedly the best part of it, I personally couldn’t stomach the whole movie just to see her. Does it make it up to you at all to know she joined the cast of thousands in “Expendables 3?” She also had a role in “Furious 7,” a way too short scene that included a way too close-up fight with Michelle Rodriguez. If you hired Ronda Rousey for a fight scene, let her fight! Keeping it all in close-up just goes to demonstrate how Michelle Rodriguez can’t hang.

If you wanted more hearts and unicorns floating around your head, just consider Rousey’s feud with Floyd Mayweather. After winning her 2015 ESPY for Best Fighter over him, she said, “I wonder how Floyd feels being beat by a woman for once.” Shots fired. In her AMA on Monday, she was asked if she thought she could beat Mayweather in a no-rules fight. Rousey answered, “Floyd is one of the best boxers of all time. He would definitely beat me in a boxing match. I unfortunately don’t get into ‘matches.’ I fight for a living. In a no-rules fight, I believe I can beat anyone on the planet. Boxing is a sweet science with strict rules that I respect very much and aspire everyday to improve at. But you said ruleless fight, and that’s my honest answer.”

Not only that, but she loves her some professional wrestling. Her name has been invoked by many of the Divas and Stephanie McMahon as they remold the women’s division. But Rousey was a fan before that. She showed up at Summer Slam last year and even got into the ring at this year’s WrestleMania with “Furious 7” co-star Mr. The Rock (I want them to fall in love and make muscular baby fighting machines.) She just-almost-tease armbarred Steph McMahon and tossed Triple H out of the ring. And then she tweeted out that “We’re just gettin’ started” so please, please, pleasepleaseplease let her headline next year’s Wrestlemania. And don’t waste it on a Steph McMahon match, which I know they will, but how awesome would a Charlotte Rousey fight be?

She also dedicated her August 1st win to Rowdy Roddy Piper, whom she shares a nickname with after receiving his blessing to use it. RIP, Piper.

Bros, She also loves Pokemon. Perfect woman.

Right now, Rousey is kind of just chilling. There is talk of her fighting Cristiane “Cyborg” Justino, but Cyborg refuses to drop weight to do so. UFC announced their card for December 12, 2015 at the MGM in Las Vegas, which includes Jose Aldo vs. Conner McGregor (who is INSANE) but not the Rousey-Miesha Tate bout that has been rumored to be on the card with Aldo-McGregor if the event were to happen in December at AT&T stadium, home of the Dallas Cowboys. The MGM really really really wanted the Aldo-McGregor fight. Word on the street is that the Rousey fight will be in early 2016, but no contracts have been signed yet, meaning they might be looking for a contender other than Tate (coughcoughCrisCyborgcoughcough.)

What to do in the meantime? Probably watch this fast and furious video of her most recent win to tide you over (warning: ads and intros longer than the fight.)

 

Her entire fight against Bethe Correria.