We ended last week’s episode of “The Bachelorette” with quite the Clint-hanger, as Kaitlyn stormed into a pow wow the guys were having during the cocktail party to pull Clint away for a one-on-one chat. If you forgot, Kaitlyn was incensed by the idea that Clint had been putting on an act for her and was actually a complete douchebag. When she confronts him, he tries to explain that he doesn’t believe any of the guys have a problem with him, and tries to use his bromance with this season’s villain J.J. as evidence.
But Kaitlyn isn’t having it, and she gives Clint the Kupah treatment and sends his ass out the door without a rose. But to add insult to injury, when Clint and Kaitlyn announce he’s leaving, J.J. asks for an apology from Clint for causing such an “emotional” night.
Clint is getting kicked out of the house, and J.J. is asking for an apology?! That’s cold dude. This could legitimately be a nominee from the “Player Hater of the Year” sketch from “Chappelle’s Show”. As your probably guessed, Clint didn’t exactly enjoy J.J.’s heel turn, and nearly went Shawn Michaels-Marty Jannetty on his “Bachelorette” tag team partner in crime.
In the end, Clint exits in a huff, leaving J.J. so shook that he ends up punching a wall, crying in the corner, and whispering sweet nothings such as “suck it up” to himself Gollum-style. And after a canceled rose ceremony, we’re off to New York City for our first date.
Yes, the show that is unable to keep any contestant of color past mid-season decides it’d be a good idea to recreate the battle scene from 8 Mile with seven different B-Rabbits. But since none of these guys have any lyrical skills, the producers bring in special guest Doug E. Fresh to drop some beats and mentoring the contestants, since he’s probably looking to make a quick downpayment on a new house with some an ABC paycheck. And after a full evening of preparation, the guys drop some of their freshest lyrics on the New York audience.
As you can tell, the performances from our contestants caused no change in the “Who is the greatest rapper of all time?” leaderboard, so Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan and Dylan can all rest easy.
But let’s forget the B-side Blazin Hazen rap lyrics produced by these “average homeboys” for just a second. The most important thing to happen during the date was the re-introduction of former Bachelorette contestant Nick Viall. For those of you who aren’t hardcore Bachelorette fans and enjoy a regular social life, Nick ended up as one of the final contestants during Andi Dorfman’s season last year, and put her on blast for having sex with him just days before her engagement to the last year’s winner Josh Murray. Fortunately for Nick, Kaitlyn seems to pay no attention to his slut-shaming past and openly embraces the idea of bringing him onto the show as an extra contestant.
As you would imagine, the rest of the guys aren’t to pleased when they find out this information. They clearly have a sense of entitlement at the fact that this is their shot at “true love” and most of them are bothered by the producers allowing a new competitor onto the show. But at the same time, how intimidating can Ben Savage’s stunt double from “Boy Meets World” really be?
— Andrew Hall (@DudeYouCrazy) June 9, 2015
Despite all the debate, Justin speaks for the group and tells Kaitlyn that because it’s her journey, she should be free to do what she wants. Flattered by his man-splanning, Kaitlyn gleefully gives him the group date rose and Nick is officially in the running for the heart of Topanga…I mean Kaitlyn.
With Nick clearly on her mind, Kaitlyn admits having trouble concentrating on Jared during her one-on-one date. While at strolling through the Metropolitan looking at art, she doesn’t really give much attention to Jared until he breaks out the bro-etry and whisks her away in a helicopter. Still, it’s obvious that Nick will hang like a looming cloud for some time during this season.
— Playbill (@playbill) June 10, 2015
For the final group date, the guys and Kaitlyn take to Broadway to try out for a spot in the Disney musical “Aladdin.” Most of the guys’ auditions go as well as Jafar’s third wish to become a genie. Ian, our balding brown contestant, actually does a pretty nice job of singing and performing for the crowd. But in the end, the directors of the show pull an “Aloha” and give the part of “Agrabah local” to the Chris, a white guy. It’s disappointing, but it’s not like we could expect anything less from this franchise.
What will happen next week? How will the guys react to Nick’s arrival? Will Danielle Fishel arrive and create an awkwardly 90’s love triangle? Until next week!